How Do I (re)Start?

July 7, 2017

I didn’t realize how much momentum I had until I lost it.
I was working hard pushing a rock along without realizing how well it was going. And then I stopped for too long and now I’m just staring at a brick wall and wondering how much running straight into it will hurt. 
And how embarrased I should be about needing to restart. Again. 
Well this is me. Running into the brick wall/boulder face first. Hoping it will start moving again and not sure what it’ll look like when it does. 
I honestly love this writing/blogging a lot more than I though I would. I always saw myself as a “super visual” person and not as good with words. Sure I could write what teacher’s wanted and do well on essays-but creative writing? Writing for fun? Nah man. That’s like talking. And I’m clearly not good at that. Plus, I’m SUPER VISUAL! I’d rather read the text than watch a youtube video of someone talking-doesn’t that mean I should stick to the more visual side of things? 
But surprisingly writing and doing art tutorials has been so great. I felt like I had found this whole new way to express myself and connect with others. So it’s more frustrating that I just, kinda, gave up on it. 
Life happened. And kept happening. And is STILL happening. 
First, I thought that I would be able to do more writing and work as soon as I was back in the US and not traveling. 
But then…I decided to help organize my parents’ house, and tutor my nephew, and catch up with friends, and I NEEDED to take a two-full-day course to get my motorcycle endorsement, and working towards getting an “actual job” is probably more important than something that might never make me money….and I could go one. But I’m sure you’ve got the point. 
I let a bunch of stuff distract me from my goals again and again and again. 
Well now I’ve finally got fed up with “not having enough time” to work on my art, my tutorials, or this blog. I’m done procrastinating or being afraind. 
I’m starting again. 
With whatever weird pockets of time I can find each day. Which I am SURE I have plenty of judging by how many web articles I’ve read in the last week…
This is me, running at a wall, trying to start building up some momentum. Building up a habit. Again. 
And if I fail. If life distracts me, or I stop, or give up. I just hope that I will keep restarting. 
Keep trying again. And again. And again. 
And again.